When I was five months pregnant with our third baby, my husband’s job was eliminated.
I remember the evening he had to come home and tell me. One of our toddlers came down with croup that night. A heavy snowfall blanketed the Indiana ground. I had to drive in that snow to get him to the doctor the next day. I also had to reschedule a prenatal appointment because I simply couldn’t make both.
In the months that followed, I frequently “flew solo” at the home front, as my husband interviewed all over this great country of ours.
We went with him on that last one. Me, 8 1/2 months pregnant, plus our newly potty-trained son resulted in a car ride with LOTS of bathroom trips.
It was scary.
Can I say that without sounding weak? It was. It was a scary, insecure time.
It would have been so easy to throw our hands up in the air over the lack of job opportunities where we lived. It would have been easy to wallow in self-pity as things seemed to collapse around me.
But we held onto hope, knowing that even the scariest of situations can be redeemed.
We wound up moving when our third baby was just barely two weeks old. We packed up everything we could into our minivan and headed halfway across the country.
Life is an adventure.
The story that’s unfolding before us can have some scary chapters, it’s true. But isn’t it wonderful that we’re given a chance to edit and reframe as we seek a beautiful outcome.
Life Is….Beautiful. Grand. Sweet. Tough. An adventure. What is life to you?
Today, for Fashion Friday, Cents of Style is offering their brand new (and really cute!) “Life is…” Collection of tee shirts for just $15.95 each, with free shipping! (Free shipping is one of my love languages, in case you didn’t know. ) Just use code: LIFEIS1 and choose between Sweet, an Adventure, Tough, Grand, or Beautiful. I know… it’s a hard choice!
This is my third (!) year as a substitute teacher now. Obviously, I love it. It’s turned out to be a truly wonderful fit for me and for my family. The reasons for that go beyond the very obvious “it works with my schedule” (though that’s obviously a big perk.)
Still, substitute teaching is NOT for everyone. I have people– typically moms whose youngest child has started school full-time– ask me about the job all the time. “Is it hard?” “How do you get started?” “Is it tough to find jobs?” “Do you get called at the last minute all the time?”
Those are good questions. And I’m always happy to answer them. But, before seriously considering putting in an application to be a substitute teacher, here are six questions I think you should ask yourself:
What’s my educational background?
Now, don’t panic! The fact that you’re not a certified teacher is probably not a problem. State and district guidelines vary, but you can expect there to be different qualifications for food service substitutes, paraprofessional substitutes, short-term substitute teachers, and long-term substitute teachers. Make sure you know which jobs you’re qualified for so you can make sure it sounds interesting to you.
Even if you’re technically qualified to do all of those jobs, think about what you might enjoy most. Do you like to lead a group? Would you rather support children one-on-one? Do you prefer clerical work? Do you like the idea of working in a kitchen, prepping meals? These are all viable options!
Am I able to think on my feet and adapt quickly?
These are important traits for a substitute teacher. Often, you don’t know much of anything about the class you’ll be teaching until you get there. Being comfortable reading a plan and implementing it, while also rolling with the punches and accepting changes, is vital. The most successful subs are those who can execute a plan, without getting overwhelmed or upset if that plan changes.
Do I LIKE children? What age is my “jam”?
Sure, this question sounds silly. But, the reality is, it’s important. Being a substitute teacher in kindergarten is NOT the same job as subbing in a high school. Most subs figure out the range that makes them happiest. There’s no right or wrong answer here, but it’s important to know yourself. Are you okay being with the same 20 tiny people all day long, dealing with crying, sticky fingers, and endless shoe tying? Would you rather show a video or proctor a study packet? Which is more delightful to you– warm hugs and reading stories or deep thinking and witty sarcasm?
Can I control a room?
Here’s the thing– regular classroom teachers sometimes struggle to control a classroom and they’re with these kids all the time. They have “street cred” and it can still be a challenge. Subs walk in without that established credibility and need to gain control and maintain control quickly. If this sounds a little intimidating to you, that’s okay– everyone gets better with practice. But if it sounds terrifying or like torture, you might not enjoy substitute teaching all that much. You might prefer a different type of sub work… or a different gig entirely.
Do I like to learn new things?
Smart boards. Hover cams. FM systems. COMMON CORE MATH.
There’s so much I had to learn. It can be super daunting to realize you don’t know how to do second grade math the “right” way. I mean… really?!?!? But, the fact is, you simply must learn to do it the way they’re being taught. That’s your job. Doesn’t matter if you think decomposing numbers is stupid– you need to know how to do it. Doesn’t matter if you prefer chalk boards to smart boards– you need to work with current technology and not fight against it.
Don’t let that scare you– you don’t have to learn everything immediately. It’s a process. But, if you already know that you’re going to break out in hives when asked to learn these new ways, keep that in mind before pressing SEND on your application.
Still think it sounds like a great option? Fabulous! I’m right there with you!
I’ll be back next week with five big PROs of substitute teaching. Feel free to toss questions my way, here or on Facebook, and I’ll do my best to address those, too.
No matter what all the pumpkin spice addicts try to tell me, I know there’s just about a full MONTH of summer left. Hooray! I love the lingering light of summer and really never want it to end.
With summer, however, come a lot of minor skin irritations. From too much sun to bug bites, to bramble snags, to skin that just gets dried out or damaged from sand, salt, chlorine, and the like– there are a lot of things to throw your skin off. Even heat and sweat can lead to uncomfortable, though probably not overly worrisome, rashes.
In the past, I’ve just weathered these annoyances, considering them an acceptable trade for all the wonders of blessed summertime.
This year, however, I finally got brave enough to not just USE my essential oils, but to MAKE product with them.
I know you don’t all use essential oils, and that’s fine. As I’ve said before, I don’t sell them, but there are plenty of places you can get them, should you decide you want to dabble. Two things to know about this recipe:
1. The oils I use in this are all very common and also inexpensive. While some essential oils can be very pricey, these are NOT.
2. Even if you make it without the oils, this salve will be soothing and moisturizing– it’ll be more like a natural Vaseline type substance.
With the oils, though, this salve becomes a total healing and soothing powerhouse. Here are the three oils I’ve chosen to add and why:
1. Tea Tree– Tea Tree does not smell awesome. At least not to me. But it is AMAZING as a healer. It has recently been confirmed to have significant antiviral, antibacterial, antifungal, and antiseptic properties. It’s very effective for treating blemishes or breakouts and is fantastic at reducing the swelling from bites or rashes.
2. Lavender– Lavender has a more pleasing aroma than Tea Tree, to most people, and is also an effective healer. Particularly helpful in soothing and healing burns and stings, it’s also a good germ-fighter in its own right. Combined with tea tree, it’s incredibly effective at treating bug bites.
((If you stop right there, you’ll have a super effective healing salve that’s safe for use even on small children. However, if you only plan to use it on those 6 and over and you crave a touch more, you can add…))
3. Peppermint– Peppermint is cooling and refreshing and has a bright, energizing aroma. That cool, tingly feeling is remarkably soothing on many minor skin irritations. (For children 2 and over, you can safely substitute spearmint oil. While not quite as cooling, it has a delightfully fresh, sweet scent and will still feel refreshing.)
Okay. So now you know why I chose what I did. That was not random or haphazard. These oils all serve a very real purpose and, like I said, I simply love that they’re super accessible and affordable.
Here’s how to make the salve:
- 1/4 cup coconut oil (the kind that’s solid when it’s cold and liquid when it’s warm– it doesn’t matter which way it starts for this recipe)
- 1 tablespoon beeswax pellets or shavings
- 25 drops Tea Tree oil
- 25 drops Lavender oil
- 10 drops Peppermint oil
- Melt coconut oil and beeswax together, stirring constantly, until completely liquified. (If you have a double boiler, you can use that. I just used a stainless steel bowl over a small saucepan.)
- Remove from heat.
- Drop in essential oils and stir until evenly incorporated.
- Pour into jar. It will be liquid at this point. Salve will “set up” as it cools and will result in a petroleum jelly-like consistency.
Uses: This salve is wonderful for all manner of minor skin irritations, including bug bites, sunburn, superficial scratches, dry, scaly, irritate, or chapped skin, blemishes, heat rashes, etc. Apply a thin layer evenly to affected area.
I love to travel.
I haven’t done nearly as much of it as some people, but far more than others. As with so many spectrums of life, I’d land somewhere in the middle.
But I love to just… GO PLACES.
I’ve lived quite a lot of places, too. North, South, Midwest, East Coast, New England. I’ve lived on the coastline, lived in the plains, lived in the mountains. I’ve lived in very, very rural places and crowded suburbs.
And I’ve always said– there is something I have LOVED about every place I’ve lived. Were they all my favorite? Nope. But I can look back fondly at every place I’ve been and be grateful for the experience. I collect memories and moments like some people collect souvenir magnets– I gather them, reflect on them, and cherish them for representing that special time in my life.
I still want to go more places. It’s woven in the very fiber of who I am. I want to travel. I want to live someplace else. I want to experience new settings and new scenery and new cultures. I want to add to this mish-mosh accent I have that winds up being not much of an accent at all by the time you throw it all together.
I have a touch of wanderlust.
I could bemoan the fact that I also have three children with lots of school still ahead and lots of ties to the community we’re in. I could sigh over the fact that our finances simply do not allow us to pick up and travel on a whim and explore all the places I’d love to go.
But I don’t.
I have come to expect miracles.
I know that plans can unfold in beautiful and miraculous ways that I never saw coming. I know that I don’t have to have it all figured out to believe it will wind up just exactly how it should be. I believe that amazing, awesome things can happen even when circumstances do not seem to support them.
I honestly have no idea where I’ll wind up. I don’t know how many captivating places I’ll get to visit.
But I love to dream about it. And these necklaces– some of the newest Tribe line at Cents of Style– help remind me of that. They’re a happy little sight in what can sometimes be a boring, relentless day. Just a flash of that “wanderlust” and I smile to myself–
I’m going places.
I may not no where, yet.
But I’m confident it’s happening.
What do you dream of? What motivational messages speak to you?
Cents of Style has released their NEW collection of Tribe necklaces, in script, bar, and disc styles. For this week’s Fashion Friday special, you can snag any of them for just $11.99, shipped, with code: TRIBE4.
Which is your fave? I’d love to know why!
He can’t look me in the eye just yet.
I’m five foot seven, after all, and he’s still only 11.
But his feet are decidedly bigger than mine. His legs are as long as his dad’s. And I’ve caught him examining his abs at various angles in a hand mirror.
He’s growing up, this man-child of mine, and he’s headed to middle school this year.
For the most part, I have no worries about this. Confident, clever, and self-assured, A. is the kind of kid who acclimates easily. He is unafraid to ask questions and has an excellent memory. I needn’t worry about him getting lost or overwhelmed.
Despite his awkward social start in life, he’s found his way there, too, and is well-liked by his peers. The boys respect his brain and speed and the girls mostly gush about “how tall!!!” he is. So I don’t really worry about that, either.
He’ll do fine. I know this. He knows this, too.
He pushes his watermelon around his plate, picking up some of the cinnamon sugar that scattered from his toast. I cringe inwardly at the thought of how sweet that must be, but keep my expression mild.
“I don’t know if I’m excited about it or not, Mom. The whole going to middle school thing.”
I look up, inviting more, without saying anything.
“On the one hand, I can’t wait to join the cross country team and get home from school earlier. That’s cool. But, you know… we only get a really short recess in 6th grade. And… I don’t know… I just want to be a kid. The whole being a kid thing… I don’t want that to stop.”
I walk over to stand next to him. Kiss his cheek because I can’t stretch to kiss the top of his head anymore. Yank him against my side.
“You’re still a kid, buddy. I know that. You know that. And the middle school knows that, too. You’re gonna do awesome.”
He moseys off to find his sisters, his lanky, loping form crossing the room in a staggeringly small number of steps.
And I swallow hard.
He IS going to do awesome.
Let’s see how his mama does.
We’re still in the heart of summer here.
Our schedules are an odd blend of busy and relaxing these days. Swimming lessons carry on, four days a week. Gymnastics and karate are still happening. We’re starting to try to cram in special events and gatherings that somehow just hadn’t gotten done yet. Amusement park trips, play dates, and beach days. These are things we’re trying to fit into our summer. In between, we’re enjoying morning hikes, afternoon pool splashing, and late evening board games. It’s nice to have those lingering moments of peace.
With such a mish-mosh schedule, it should come as no surprise that the menu plan is also a bit of a mish-mosh. Comfort foods mingle among ethnic flavors. The slow cooker gets put to work. It’s an odd conglomeration, but it’s working for this season… and, really, that’s what matters, right?
So, here’s what we’re eating this week…
B–Cereal, Clementines, Milk (before 7:30AM Mass)
Brunch– Chocolate Chip Orange Muffins, String Cheese, Water (out on our hike!)
Mid-afternoon Snack– Triscuits and Cheese
D–Hawaiian Pork at Bama & Papa’s (along with sides and dessert that my kids helped prepare– we dropped them off early, they helped make dinner, we came to eat, and then we left them there for an overnight )
B–Honestly? It was just me. My kids were at my parents’ house. My husband was at work. I ate a pizza of cold pizza and drank coffee. Just keepin’ it real, folks.
D–Cold Ginger Peanut Noodles (This dish is adored by all three kids and me; my husband heats it before eating. He does the same thing with pasta salad. He just can’t abide cold noodles, I guess.)
B–Muffins, Fruit, Milk
D–Broccoli Cheddar Soup (I know there are many who don’t do soup in summer months; I’m one who loves it year-round. Plus, it’s a great slow cooker meal.)
B–Egg & Tomato Sandwiches, Grapes, Milk
B–Cinnamon/Sugar Toast, Yogurt, Bananas
D–Carnitas Soft Tacos
B–Cereal, Cantaloupe, Milk
B–Breakfast Pizza, Cheese, Grapes
D–Fried Fish, Broccoli, Cheesy Ranch Mashed Potatoes
And that should do it!
. . . follow them on social media.
As a rule, I do not become friends with anyone under the age of 18 on Facebook. I realize that Facebook’s own guidelines aren’t that rigorous, but it’s just something that’s served me well over the years. Ordinarily, people younger than that aren’t interested in “friending” me, anyhow, given that I’ve definitely achieved old lady status compared to them. The one time this has come up repeatedly is with nieces and nephews.
I just always waited until they turned 18. It worked.
Recently, we went on a vacation and caught up with my husband’s extended family in Massachusetts. It was fabulous. We stayed with his cousin, who is a decade or so older than us. Her kids are, for the most part, in their very early twenties.
It was so neat to spend time with all these extended family members and, wanting to continue those connections after the trip was over, I both sent and received numerous friend requests in the days immediately following.
And I messed up.
Confusing names after having met SO many people (– especially GIRLS!… oh my goodness, there were SOOO many girls!!!), I accidentally accepted a friend request from a thirteen-year-old.
I realized my error almost immediately, but I really didn’t want to “revoke” friend status and, frankly, I knew I could always hide some of my own stuff from her, so I decided to let it stand. I’m also friends with her father and eighteen-year-old sister, so I figured it’d be fine.
Once I had done that, I felt somewhat obligated to accept the (longstanding) friend request I’d received from my thirteen-year-old niece.
I’m now friends with a whole smattering of girls and young ladies, ranging from thirteen to twenty-two.
IT HAS BEEN SO EYE-OPENING.
Good golly, I wish you all could see these young ladies, because they’re beauties, every last one. One, a 5’9″ willowy blonde who’s a basketball superstar. Another, 5’5″ with dark, spiraling curls. Then another, this one 20, with rich auburn waves and clear light blue eyes.
The thing is– none of that really matters. It’s superficial (other than the athleticism I mentioned, but anyway…)
Here’s why I even bring it up.
Is what they post.
And advice like this. Geared toward women about to turn 21. (Yes. TWENTY-ONE.)
I see these things, zipping on by as I scroll on through, and I feel staggered. My gut reaction is to immediately push back. No! This isn’t truth! Don’t fall for it!
But I watch their online dance. They bond over these things. Over their shared distaste for their own bodies. Over their dismay at not being what they think they should be.
These girls come from good homes, with loving, attentive parents.
I’m convinced that criticizing their meme choice isn’t the way to make a difference.
I’m also convinced that leaving, “You’re beautiful! Stop this nonsense!” comments on them isn’t the way to change their minds.
But it’s become increasingly important to me to model edifying, encouraging self-talk. To praise the many amazing talents and facets of these young ladies (– and, yes, including their physical beauty. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that as part of the whole package.)
I want them to know that, while it’s normal to feel unsure and insecure and inadequate, it’s important to know that those feelings don’t define you. And it’s SUPER important to know that — brace yourselves, teens–
THESE ARE NOT THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.
Let that pressure lift right off your shoulders. Feel the sweet relief knowing that life gets BETTER. Turning 21 doesn’t mean you fall apart. Turning 30 doesn’t mean you stop having fun. Turning 40 doesn’t mean you’re old. So relax.
I never wanted to have teenage friends on Facebook.
But I’m really kind of glad I do.
Turns out, they’re teaching me a lot.
Last week found me lazing around the Massachusetts shore with my extended in-law family.
My sisters-in-law and their families, plus my mother-in-law, all traveled out from Indiana and we convened at a beach house my husband’s cousin was renting. While we were there, all sorts of other Massachusetts relatives came and went, none of whom we’d seen since our wedding, and that was just a whole lot of fun.
(Random tidbit: I have a special place in my heart for my husband’s Massachusetts relatives. Way, back when he and I were dating, I attended my now-sister-in-law’s wedding. Over and over and OVER again, the Indiana relatives would ask him– right in front of me– “What, you couldn’t find a nice Midwestern girl???” It was maddening! And also pretty hurtful. But the Mass relatives? Why, they thought is was just peachy that their Indiana boy had fallen for a New England girl. I haven’t forgotten them for that.)
Anyway, we had a really amazing time and the reality is… I didn’t cook a thing while we were there. I ate super well, but I wasn’t doing the food prep.
Alas, we are back home and back to reality and, if I’m honest? I’m kind of happy to be back in the kitchen. I missed having my hands in the cooking!
Of course, as is always the case when we return from weeklong trip, the fridge is nearly bare upon our return, so a quick ALDI run was required. With that in place, here’s what’s been hittin’ the table this week:
B–Cereal, Cantaloupe, Milk (for the kiddos, before 7:30AM Mass)
Brunch– Omelets, Clementines
Mid-afternoon Snack– Cookies and milk
D– Fettucine Alfredo with California Veggies
B–Cereal, Mixed Fruit, Milk
D–Crunchy Beef Tacos with all the fixings
B–Cinnamon toast, yogurt, fruit, milk
D–Fusilli with Meat Sauce & Ricotta, Green Beans
B–Oatmeal, Grapes, Milk
B–Baked Oatmeal, Clementines, Milk
D–Homemade Chicken & Rice Soup
B–Eggs, Apples w/ PB, Milk
D–Cheesy Beans & Rice (<– This is our usual Wednesday fare, but my husband and I are planning to go out this night, so it’ll be an easy, and popular, meal for the kidlets.)
B–Pancakes, Bacon, Fruit
D–Pizza (<– usually a Friday thing, but, again, date nights merit some shifting!)
And that’ll do it!
I’d love to know…
What’s your favorite thing you’re cooking this week?
Last week, my children participated in Summer Spirit, which is our church’s version of VBS. This year, they had a “service” theme and they, literally, spent their days weeding, harvesting, sewing, cooking, and otherwise working to help support various organizations in our community. They honestly loved it so much.
Anyway, as is the tradition with this program, on the last day, they handed out what I like to call “The Superlative Awards.” Some of you might recall a couple years ago when A. was given the “Smartest” award and I wrote a post about it. These always make me giggle just because they seem so counter-cultural these days, but it’s still fun to see what the counselors saw in my kids over the week they spent with them.
This year, A. came home with “Most Helpful.” Can’t say that didn’t make me happy. I hope very much to be raising helpful children who contribute to society.
C. earned herself “Best Singer.” (I may have to delete this post when C. gets older, but I’ll confess to you all that this made me giggle a LOT because, of my three children, C. is the least musical.) She is a happy, enthusiastic participant and, as one of the “older” grades of campers, I think that really makes her stand out.
And then there was my G. (whom we call by a nickname that starts with “E”, just to confuse things around here.)
G. came home with a shy, but proud, smile.
“My counselors said they couldn’t pick just one for me.”
Kindest and bravest.
Friends… if the past few weeks of horrible violence and political spats have taught me nothing else, it’s that this world dearly needs more kindness and bravery.
Be kind. Yes. Always and abundantly. Throw kindness around like confetti, as they say. Let it land everywhere and don’t worry if it gets swept aside– you did your part just by throwing it out there.
Be brave. Do hard things. Speak up when silence is so much easier. Bravery isn’t standing tall when you’re feeling large and in charge– it’s reaching down to help when others feel small and unheard.
“I think I can do more, Mommy,” she murmured to me when I kissed her sleepy cheek before bed. “It’s not so hard to be brave once you realize it really has nothing to do with you.”
Way back, in the first month of 2005, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.
He was healthy. He was joyful. And his birth marked a whole new chapter in my life.
For the first time since I’d reached adulthood, I was not working outside of the home.
The bank I’d worked at was generous with their paid leave, by U.S. standards, and provided eight weeks paid maternity leave.
I knew I wanted more.
As our bond with our precious son grew ever stronger, my husband and I also realized something else– we craved family. Extended family. Though we had lived many, many states away from our parents and siblings from the time we’d turned 18, we suddenly felt compelled to be nearer to them. There was something about having a baby of our own that made us want to realign those branches of the family tree.
We had a choice to make–
- We could stay where we were in our pretty Virginia home. I could stay home with him, but we were far from family.
- We could move back to my home state of Connecticut. It was beautiful and my parents and sister were there, but it was super pricey and I’d have to go back to work.
- Or, we could move to Indiana. We’d be near his sisters and parents and we could easily make it on just his salary.
When we learned his dad was battling stage 4 lung cancer, the best choice became readily apparent.
And moving to Indiana became the dream. It became my fondest wish.
When our son was four months old, we packed up and moved halfway across the country.
Two months later, we learned we were expecting our second child and said goodbye to my father-in-law, all in the space of a couple days.
When people ask me how I liked Indiana, my emotional response is so strong. If I’m honest, I’ll tell you that those were lonely years for me. I lived out in the country in an old farmhouse, pregnant, while caring for an infant. Being land-locked challenged me. I never did take to 4-wheeling or mudding or even camping, for that matter.
But those years are precious to me. There, I had my last sweet weeks with my beloved father-in-law. I learned to garden. I birthed two daughters. I found my voice and shared it with the world over a dial-up internet connection.
Sometimes, places become wishes.
And, if we’re some of the lucky ones… those wishes come true. And leave memories in our hearts forever.
Do you have a place that holds a special place in your heart? Is it where you grew up, somewhere you love to visit, a dream vacation? Well, guess what?
Cents of Style has the perfect necklace to keep those places close to your heart!!
And, just for today’s Fashion Friday special, you can choose your favorite State Necklace for just $11.99 + FREE SHIPPING.
This necklace is a lovely, easy-to-wear length and layers beautifully, making it a super on-trend accessory. If you decide to add it to your jewelry wardrobe, I’d love to know which state you chose and why! Tell me your stories in the comments, friends…