Have you MISSED this series?? I’ve missed writing it! I need to put it on a calendar or something. I’m such a “fly by the seat of my pants” blogger that I do a horrible job remembering it on my own. Sorry!
Anyway, it’s been about 4 1/2 months since the last segment of JL Answers the Search Box. Let’s go take a look and see what sorts of questions people have had for me…
JL Answers the Search Box, volume 6
1. “I loosed the back of my earring so what to use now”
I feel like we’ve been over this one approximately 852 times already but, again, the short answer? Use an eraser. Just break it off your pencil and put the part that you haven’t been using to erase up against your ear. Now that we’ve solved that problem, can we just talk about your use of “loosed” here? I mean, I know it’s a Google search. I know people don’t use proper punctuation and are prone to omitting words. But, see, the thing is… you made the word LONGER than it needed to be. And that makes me think that you weren’t trying to save time. Perhaps you really thought that, when your earring back went missing, you had “loosed” it. But, alas… no. You LOST it. It goes like this– you lose it, you’re losing it, you lost it, you have lost it. Loose is a totally different word. You could say, “I lost my loose earring back.” You cannot say, “I loosed my loss earring back.” Okie dokie? I feel a little better now that we’ve cleared that up.
2. “I lost the backs of my ears- help”
Gah!!! I’d cry for help, too! But, for heaven’s sake, get off the computer! If you lose the backs of your ears, you need medical help, not my blog. (p.s. Good job using “lost” instead of “loosed.”)
3. “my hair is much too long”
I’m a tiny bit worried about this person. I mean, there are some problems out there that are hard to solve. And I am a big fan of googling for answers. But, is it just me, or is this one kind of an easy fix? No? Hmm…
4. “burning breast exclusive pumping”
OUCH!!!!!!! Burning breasts are not good. Not good at all. I can think of no circumstance in which this is a good thing. I’m thinking the very important word “calories” was left out somewhere here and, in that case, yes, pumping burns a lot of them. And shouldn’t be nearly as painful as burning breasts.
5. “long fingers hand photo”, “sexy long fingers”, “super long hot thumbs”, “long skinny hands”, “pretty hand photo”
Sigh… I wish I were kidding. I get these searches every week. There are whole websites dedicated to hand fetishes and I find photos of my hands there fairly frequently that have been lifted from my site. “You have beautiful hands, but that’s just weird,” my husband says. It is weird. And I don’t get it. But I’m no longer surprised by the searches…
6. “many a man feed one chicken”
I kind of love this search term. I makes my “5 Meals from 5 Chicken Breasts” post feel like an old adage or something. Although, really, it kind of sounds like a whole bunch of dudes gathered around throwing feed at a single bird. But, anyway, it has a nice ring to it.
7. “Is Adam Lanza in hell?”
I have no idea. But I lose no sleep over it, either. (LOSE no sleep, not LOOSE no sleep. You see how often this comes up???)
8. “what to serve with brazilian cheese bread”
What’s Brazilian cheese bread? I’ve never heard of such a thing! And, well, I kind of have a thing for cheese bread, so I find this appalling! Hmmm… Brazilian cheese bread…
9. “sluty negglijaye”
Not even kidding. Sigh… where to start. Okay. First of all, I’m not slutty (or sluty)– sorry. Second of all, you will find no lingerie shots here, including negligees. And, finally… “negglijaye”???? REALLY??? You make that “loosed earring” person look brilliant.
And, finally, you knew it was coming…
10. “I love playing with balls, but my wife doesn’t”
Oh, the great “playing with balls” quandary that every marriage must face… Ha! I kid! This is an easy fix, my dear man. I recommend you either play ball with your kid, assuming you have one, or toss a ball around with a friend. Happily, your wife’s distinterest in ball-play should not prove to be a make-or-break in your marriage. Now, go forth, have fun, and play ball!