JL Answers the Search Box, volume 5

 

 

WordPress changed their layout for search engine results and I LOVE it. It also makes it way easier for me to cull out the good ones. And, so, I had to share some with you. Because, can’t we all use a little giggle on a Wednesday morning??

 

JL Answers the Search Box, volume 5

 

1. “the complaint letter is a gentle but polite prod to? what does prod means”

 

“Prod”, in this case, means to rouse or incite, but that’s just going to send you on another google hunt, now isn’t it? Basically, you’re trying to get something done; in this case, receive a satisfactory response to your complaint. I’ll be honest– you wound up on my list because your search format made me laugh.

 

2. “average time to unload dishwasher”

 

I’m pretty sure I can do a full load in about two to three minutes, if I’m really trying and there are no children underfoot. Seriously, though, people, I take searches like this as personal challenges. And it is ON.

 

3. “what to add add carbonation to tomatoe soup”

 

What the heck? I just… I can’t… I don’t even know where to go with this. Fizzy tomato soup? You and I can’t be friends anymore.

 

4. “comparative and superlative form of miraculous”

 

I’m trying to determine if you think there’s really a “miraculousest” or something? I’m quite certain the phrases would be “more miraculous” and “most miraculous”, but I’m also pretty positive there’s no need for a miracle hierarchy. I mean, really… once you hit “miraculous,” is there need for more?

 

5. “why does my preemie look like she has no but crak”

 

Why does it look like you’ve never heard of spelling? ;) But, no, really. Your preemie doesn’t have enough fat yet to have a noticeable “but crak” or butt crack to the rest of us. She’ll get there. And people will laugh when you excitedly announce, “She has a crack!!!!” one day.

 

6. “objectives for berry muffins recipe”

 

Objectives? Hmmm. To taste good? To nourish? To sustain? To fill? To satisfy? I’m doing my best here, friend… what exactly were you hoping for?

 

7. “my anniversary was horrible and im so sad”

 

This one is not funny. Not in any way. But it’s an important one to talk about for a minute here. We have ALL had these days. At least, I’m pretty sure we have. I know I have. The thing is– there are certain days (anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, etc.) that we tend to build up in our minds. Even if we don’t think we’re expecting anything, there often lingers a little hope. When the actual event doesn’t measure up to that hope, we can feel truly disappointed and, yes, sad. My advice here? Let yourself be a little sad– it’s not a sign that you’re a bad person. You’re entitled to your feelings. But then move on. Realize that, really, it’s just ONE day and it is no way indicative of your life, relationship, or overall happiness. I’m sorry it was horrible. I really, really am. But chin up, sweetie. Tomorrow’s another day.

 

8. “putting ferret balls in ball popper”

 

Oh, people. You slay me. What are you even talking about here? Do ferrets have ball toys that they play with? I don’t even know. That’s my guess. Anyway, I’m sure you found me a giant disappointment since I don’t recall ever mentioning ferret balls around here…

 

9. “what could i do to keep earring post from falling off”

 

Post? If you suspect the post is going to fall off, I wouldn’t wear them. Get thee to a jeweler or at least someone handy at soldering and get that sucker secured. Now, an earring back? Those are easily replaced or substituted. Let me know if that’s what you really meant…

 

10. “elephant spare balls”

 

I laughed and laughed about this one because, really? Elephant balls? But then one of my kids told me they were pretty sure there was a ball popper toy that looked like an elephant and then it wasn’t so funny, really. Just another replacement ball question. Still– elephant balls. {giggle}

 
(If you missed them, or just need a laugh, here are: Volume 1 Volume 2Volume 3, and Volume 4)

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6 comments to JL Answers the Search Box, volume 5

  • Carol B.

    JL, I just read all of the volumes because somehow I had missed them. Oh my gosh! I was literally laughing out loud and tearing up because they were so funny! Love this series and cannot wait until the next volume!! :D

  • Terri

    I bet the objectives one was a college of education student. After all, if you’re writing a lesson for an activity where students bake muffins, you must have objectives….

  • Laraba

    JL, this is random and not tied into this blog post. I’ve been thinking about your C. a lot as I’m 23 weeks, 2 days pregnant. Everything seems fine and all my previous have gone full term. I just can’t imagine having a baby this early. So thankful your little girl is doing so well now.

    God bless…

    • Congratulations! I didn’t actually know you were expecting again, Laraba– what exciting, happy news! :) Honestly, I had no idea babies born that early could even survive, at the time I had her. It was crazy. I had always heard that the 2nd trimester was the “honeymoon period” when things didn’t really go wrong. So… it was a HUGE surprise to me! Blessedly, it is very uncommon in the grand scheme of things. :) May you have a healthy, uneventful 16 weeks! I’ll be praying. :) (Sorry about all those smileys. I’m a little emoticon-obsessed, I think.)

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