When the “Slut” Is Really a Good Girl

 

My heart…

 

Oh, it feels heavy these days.

 

It kind of all started when I woke Wednesday morning to a flurry of Facebook posts sharing this article, entitled FYI (if you’re a teenage girl). Go ahead and read it if, somehow, you’ve been shielded from this now-viral piece.

 

Some of my most favoritest people shared that post (– maybe even you!) I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to get into it and I still, really, don’t.

 

Of course, the responses poured in. That was pretty much a guarantee as soon as that post spread like wildfire. Some attempted to be gentle and give a lot of grace. Others pointed out the flaws and judgment through parody essentially.

 

And, through it all, one thought kept surging through my mind:

 

I am SO glad I didn’t grow up in the age of social media.

 

Because, here’s the thing– I? Was a Good Girl. Yes, capital Gs all around– not Robin Thicke’s kind of “good girl.” Compared to my peers, I was darn-near halo-worthy at times, and I really don’t think I have a shameful past.

 

You read my words these days– the words of a woman who married her “one and only”, has three happy, healthy children, and teaches church school, for heaven’s sake.

 

I’m no heathen. I’m no slut. I’m no loose lady.

 

Really, I never was.

 

And the reason no one accuses me of having been one?

 

Is that nothing was immortalized on the internet.

 

No, I never took pouty selfies in a negligee. If I’d wanted to take sexy self-pics, I’d have had to set a timer and have them developed or convince someone else to take them with a Polaroid!

 

No, I never showed up in a Facebook stream clad in a towel. But I definitely showed up in a co-ed dorm clad in same. And guess what? I’m pretty sure those boys– now men– have managed to move on without visions of my bare limbs dancing in their mind.

 

I didn’t text or sext or IM or any of that. But when a random boy reached our dorm room on a “wrong number” phone call? My roommate and I talked to him for more than thirty minutes, exchanging flirty banter and feeling wonderfully scandalous in the process.

 

Because– and this is important– good girls do these things.

 

I am NOT saying that all girls will necessarily be seen in a towel or flirt with random boys. That isn’t the point at all. I’m saying that good girls will do something that could be construed as sexy/flirty/naughty/seductive.

 

They will do it, not because they’re trashy, but because they’re testing their way and their wiles. With proper guidance, they won’t wander very far from the path. Still… these behaviors? Not signs of failed parenting or loose morals.

 

My heart breaks for the teens of today and I already know I’m going to have to be hyper-vigilant in guiding my own kiddos through the minefield that is technology and social media– it’s a game-changer, for sure.

 

But the next time you curl your lip or avert your eyes because some teenaged girl (or boy!) is doing something you deem too sexy/slutty/trashy/suggestive…

 

Just remember that he or she might very well grow into a happily married parent of well-loved children in a church-going home, without any significant stumbles along the way.

 

I did.

 

 

Facebook Twitter Stumbleupon Email Tumblr

4 comments to When the “Slut” Is Really a Good Girl

  • Carrie

    Very well said. It seems so popular to be snarky and pretend that’s humor rather than be kind and silent.

  • Here’s the thing; some of the time (and I don’t dare to suggest how often the case), girls are just trying to feel attractive and they’re simply emulating culture as to what is deemed as attractive. They aren’t trying to be sexy, but subconsciously they understand “sexy” = pretty (especially to the boys they want to attract). OR, they’re just trying to feel pretty for themselves.

    Today’s world is a stage. It’s insane. I’m with you–so thankful NOT to have grown up in the age of social media.

    I’m pretty sure I would have looked like a slut, even though that would’ve been the opposite of my actions. Oy.

  • I could not agree with you more – I had not seen this article and it was an interesting read. Although I don’t agree with her opinion.

  • [...] When the “Slut” Is Really a Good Girl [...]

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Archives