“My Story… ” Monday: The “Haters”

 

When I very first began blogging, over five years ago now, I was just SO excited to get comments. Any comment, really! The fact that there was anyone out there not only reading my words but taking the time to respond made me so very very happy. And, to be perfectly honest, most of the comments were nice. I suppose that helped.

 

With time and experience came a few more comments. A few more emails. More interaction from non-”regular” readers. And that was great, too. I welcomed different ideas and, while I never promised I’d change my mind about issues, I enjoyed learning (in a kind, civilized way) what formed someone else’s stance and view.

 

Over the years, I’ve been told I was judgmental. Foolish. Arrogant. Unkind. Assuming. Closed-minded. Too open-minded. Too religious. Not religious enough. Mean. Weak. 

 

…and more.

 

To be perfectly honest? It hurts to type those things. I wish I could say that I read those comments and emails peppered throughout my blogging career and just shrugged and moved on.

 

But I did not.

 

Clearly, I still remember all of them. Never mind that I have received far more kindness, support, and gentle guidance over the years than insults, it is the insults that are forever burned in my brain.

 

As a result, I’ve become slightly more timid. I’m actually more, rather than less, fragile after all these years. I brace myself if I suspect a post might generate backlash and I crumple if I, especially unexpectedly, receive a comment detailing all the ways I fail at being a good person.

 

I should be tough and strong enough to carry on with my day without sparing much thought on the remark of some– let’s be honest here– unknown person on the internet.

 

But I don’t. I mope. I fret. I take it very, very personally. And I hurt. A lot, actually.

 

This all comes across as very, very whiny and I can see that even as I type it. It doesn’t make it less true.

 

But, while it may sound like these comments have done nothing but devastate me over the years and make me lose conviction, that’s not really true. Good has come of it, too.

 

In real life, I am more careful in my speech now. I try hard to really listen to why someone has made a certain decision, and I’m getting much better at realizing that, unless someone actually ASKS my opinion, they don’t really need it and probably don’t want it.

 

I have felt the sting of rejection in the critical remarks of others. I’m not saying there’s never been truth in the criticisms! But I know how very acutely I felt the pain.

 

It’s made me a bit more sensitive to others’ raw spots. I no doubt misstep and hurt others. But I try hard to be more mindful of it nowadays.

 

Some of that? Is just the result of a bit more maturity.

 

But some of it, I owe to the “haters.”

Facebook Twitter Stumbleupon Email Tumblr

9 comments to “My Story… ” Monday: The “Haters”

  • Susan

    I feel bad now!!! You need to learn to get a tougher shell. I work in sales and people are mean to me all day long. If I don’t laugh it off, I could really get depressed. Sometimes, I call people back just for the laughs. I say “I think we must have been disconnected…”

    • I’ve been told that before, Susan. :) Honestly? I’ve tried, and I’m just not sure I’m meant to have a tough shell. This might explain why I was TERRIBLE at sales, but very, very good at service. Ha! (Don’t feel bad! I don’t remember you calling me any names. And I have no issue whatsoever with people disagreeing with me.)

  • Courtney

    As long as you remember you have far more “lovers”!!!! :) (Of your blog, heehee, don’t want to start a crazy search box rumor.)

  • chellleigh

    thank you for your blog, I happened across it(pinterest), and I have found it to be a great resource for how you dealt with some very difficult and great times. there always will be haters… you can’t make everyone happy nor would you want too..!! I have enjoyed your site.. and wish you and your family the best!!!!!!!

  • Sonja

    I love your blog. I do not always agree with everything you say, but I am always glad to see a different perspective on things. I totally understand what you are saying about it making you more reserved. I could never write a blog, because I know I would take every comment personally :/

  • mlearley

    This is exactly why I don’t post anything about my point of view on facebook because I did one time and got all kinds of hateful comments. I love your blog and reading about your opinions on things even if I may not always agree with them. :D

  • I am still in the beginning stage of my blogging. I still love the very few comments I get. I’d like my blog to grow but I don’t want the “haters” to show up either. I love your blog. You won’t make everyone happy but don’t let that stop you from being who you are. Hugs!

  • “In real life, I am more careful in my speech now. I try hard to really listen to why someone has made a certain decision, and I’m getting much better at realizing that, unless someone actually ASKS my opinion, they don’t really need it and probably don’t want it.”

    YES. And if nothing else ever came of my blog, I really should be grateful for that. (I’m sure those who know me are. Ha!)

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Archives