10 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Tonight


You didn’t think I’d stop writing about hot marriages, now did you? No way! Read on for some of my favorite ways to set myself up for an awesome night.



Hot marriages are the best, but– and here’s the top secret some people won’t tell you– they do take some work.


While I’m not really an expert on the subject (or any subject, really– ha!), I do have some easy tips and tricks that you can do TODAY to help make TONIGHT excellent. Sound like a plan? Fabulous. Let’s get started.



1. Take a shower.


I know there are super busy, grueling seasons in life. I’ve been there. But, truly. Whether you get up ten minutes early, put the baby in a bouncy seat in the bathroom next to you, beg a neighbor to watch a kid or two, or whatever… just take a few minutes to refresh. This is not because your unwashed self is repulsive to your spouse. Nope. That’s not it at all. YOU will feel better (and sexier) if you catch a quick shower. Promise.


2. Exercise.


I know, I know. Exercising is work. And maybe you feel like it’s not worth it. Maybe you think I’m trying to say that you should work out and drop any extra pounds you’re carrying. Nope. This isn’t about extra weight at all– this is about energizing and caring for your body. Get some movement in– even just a little bit. It helps you feel better.


3. Wear underwear you feel good in.


I am not going to tell you that you need to wear skimpy, silky things. Honestly, I believe you should wear whatever makes you feel confident and happy. If a higher cut cotton brief does that for you? That’s what you should wear. Don’t immediately rule out all “sexy” apparel as too revealing and uncomfortable. Some corset-type garments really aren’t all about boning and lacing and might actually make you feel MORE confident since they offer more coverage than a bra. Find what works for you and then? Work it.


4. Nourish yourself well.


Eat protein. Healthy fats. Some fruits and veggies. Don’t deprive yourself and try to cut calories in an effort to be skinnier. There’s nothing sexy about a starving woman. Still, don’t eat a whole box of Lucky Charms or a bag of Cheez Doodles. Those things don’t meet any legitimate needs and are likely to make you feel icky. Treat yourself with good chocolate or real cheese instead.


5. Make (or buy) a decadent dessert.


What qualifies as decadent will vary from person to person. Berries and cream. Chocolate lava cake. Vanilla bean ice cream. Thick, rich buttercream. I’m thinking the duplex creme cookies they sell for a buck really don’t qualify, but feel free to adapt this one to suit your own tastes. There’s something luscious about having a fabulous dessert together.


6. Stretch.


There is no need for you to be a contortionist to be interesting in the sack. Still, stretching a bit now will help prevent sore hips or muscle cramps later. And, if you happen to increase your flexibility in the process? Well, rare is the man who will complain about that. *wink, wink*


7. Talk to your kids.


Tell your kids how excited you are to date their daddy. I’m certainly not suggesting you make them privy to any intimate details of your lives, but let them see how much you look forward to spending time with him. While some people worry this will creep their kids out, the opposite is typically true. Children of parents who are clear and obvious about their mutual affection feel safe and secure, two feelings that make them happy, not disturbed.


8. Change the sheets.


I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Clean sheets just feel awesome. Even if you do nothing but sleep in them, you’ll enjoy them. It’s worth the few minutes it takes.


9. Plan the lighting.


Listen. In almost every pair I’ve ever met, the man loves the light on and the woman isn’t such a fan. There are lots of ways to compromise through this, but the easiest may simply be YOU having a plan. Have candles or a dimmer or something that works for both of you. Don’t insist on complete blackness; truly, he wants to see you and that’s a wonderful thing. Still, you don’t have to be on display under 110 watts either. Have a plan in place and it won’t become a debate.


10. Think about it. A lot.


Maybe it sounds crazy, but I honestly believe that, if you think about having amazing intimate moments together, you’re more likely to work toward making them happen. If you sprinkle your day with little thoughts about how much you want to be with your spouse, well, you’re going to want to be with your spouse! Just try it. If it doesn’t work for you? You’ve lost nothing. But… if it does? What a fun little trick to have up your sleeve, yes?



And, with that, I’ll leave you to it! Here’s to a fabulous night, sweet friends!


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4 comments to 10 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Tonight

  • Mary B.

    You have perfect timing! We just moved this weekend and we’re all pretty exhausted and still recovering. Reading this list is just the motivation I need to get up and get some stuff DONE around the house (because that makes me feel better, almost as much as taking a shower!) so I can focus on my hubby tonight. Thanks!

  • Susan

    I thought I was the only person in the world who used to take my son, strapped into his car seat, into the bathroom so I could take a shower. Of course, we had an extra car seat in the house already. He had to sleep in it for his first year because of reflux issues.

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