You know what I love about you people? So many of you seem to be humored by the same things as me. And, really, that’s just super fun.
I had such a good time doing my JessieLeigh Answers the Search Box post last month (and many of you giggled along with me!) that I thought I’d do it again. Honestly, there’s so much interesting inspiration buried in those statistics, it’s a blast to look through and cull out the most popular questions and funniest terms.
So, without further ado, I present you with–
JessieLeigh Answers the Search Box, volume 2
1. “tall” “2013″ site:parentingmiracles.net, “a.” “2013″ site:parentingmiracles.net, “height” “2013″ site:parentingmiracles.net
Okay. So, all three of these search phrases popped up FOURTEEN times in one day. This tells me that, somewhere out there, someone really wanted to know how tall A. is. Seriously, people– it’s not some big secret. He’s 4′ 6 1/2″. Next time you’re dying to know something like that, I recommend email or twitter as a much faster method of getting an answer.
2. “I lopped off my hair– now what?”
Well, don’t panic. We all know I’m of the “it’s just hair” mind-set, and such things are not cause for alarm. Now, if you lopped off your hair all Britney Spears-style in a fit of madness, I’d recommend you consider seeking help. But, if you were just trying something new? Roll with it. A good hairstylist can probably repair any serious issues and, well, it’ll grow.
3. “When to unload the dishwasher.”
Um, I feel like this is a trick question. Because, really, isn’t the only appropriate answer here, “when it’s clean”? That’s when I do it, at least. So there you go.
4. “Why shouldn’t we take our parents for granted?”
Okay, here goes: because they birthed you, raised you, fed you, clothed you, taught you, sheltered you, provided for you, invested in you, loved you… oh, too much? Well, that’s what you get when you ask JL that kind of question. Next thing you know you’ll ask me something like “why shouldn’t we neglect our children?”
5. “Miracle for wrinkled forehead.”
Sigh. Let me know if you find it.
6. “Child nudity movies.” “Child nudism movies.” “Nude children in movies.”
GO AWAY, SICKOS. You will find no information on nude children on film on my site. I addressed children seeing violence and/or nudity in films but never, ever did I talk about naked kids being filmed. So go away. Seriously. I don’t want you here. No one needs that kind of traffic.
7. “Results of giving up Diet Coke? Will I make it?”
Yes. Yes, you will. Diet Coke is not necessary to sustain life– that’s the good news. The bad news is that soda can be a very real addiction for some people. I was very candid in sharing my own results– I didn’t notice much. HOWEVER, water is infinitely cheaper than soda and inarguably better for my body, so I still consider it a good thing that I ditched the stuff. You can do it, too. I’m rooting for you.
8. “Things you can say to make people think you’re pregnant.”
Well, in my experience, almost anything can be interpreted as as pregnancy announcement. But the way this is worded makes it sound like you WANT people to assume you’re pregnant. So I’m going to recommend going with, “I’m pregnant!” That’s probably the most fail-proof.
9. “Why don’t I like fih?”
I’m not entirely sure. I’ve never tried fih. I’m going to suggest you try fish sometime and see if it’s more to your liking.
(And, because it just wouldn’t be the same without a question about balls…)
10. Does the Playskool ball popper blow or suck?
Oh, my. The answers I could give… let’s just stick with the truth. Both. One end blows and the other sucks. (I swear, that didn’t sound as bad in my head.)
Keep on searching, Googlers and Bingers! I find you endlessly entertaining.