How do I love thee? Choices.


  • “My husband told me not to follow this whole maxi dress fad– that the style didn’t suit my petite frame.”
  • “My husband would never let me wear that type of bathing suit– it’s too revealing.”
  • “My husband told me to wear a bikini so he can show me off.”
  • “My husband made me promise to never dye my hair again.”
  • “My husband never wants me to let my brown roots show.”
  • … I could go on.


These are all things I hear from women I encounter. Sometimes, the wives seem amused by the remarks, sometimes offended. Usually, they comply with the wishes expressed, but they don’t always seem thrilled about it.


I have no idea what that’s like, to be honest.


It’s not that my husband doesn’t have opinions– of course he does. He has told me that he hopes I’ll never go jet black with my hair, for example. And he’s not a fan of me having all my business hanging out for the world to see (not that this is a style I reach for, but, just sayin’.)


There are outfits that I wear that my husband loves. There are outfits that I wear that he doesn’t love. And that is okay.


Since the time we started dating, my hair has been blonde, auburn, brown, strawberry blonde, and all the various combinations thereof. Does he like some more than others? I suppose. But he doesn’t get all bent out of shape about it. It’s only hair. And, well, it’s my hair. And that is okay.


My husband is both proud of my body and proud of my choices– so, when I reach for a Lands End tankini, he respects it. Not because I need to “cover up” and not because I need to “show it off.” Because it looks cute and does the job. And that is okay.


Different relationships have different dynamics. And, of course, that is okay.


But I love that I married a man who respects my choices and acknowledges my ability to make them for myself.

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2 comments to How do I love thee? Choices.

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