There is a difference between judging someone’s character and being critical of someone’s action.
There. I said it. I really think it’s that simple.
There is a difference between saying, “I don’t think feeding a child pixie sticks for breakfast every day is a wise idea” and saying “you’re a flippin’ idiot who doesn’t care about your kid.”
There is a difference between saying, “I don’t agree with smacking your kid in the face” and saying “you’re a cruel, unloving person.”
There is a difference between saying, “I don’t think that micro-mini is the most flattering choice” and “she looks like a whore.”
There is a DIFFERENCE.
Having an opinion? Is not judging. Heck, even VOICING said opinion doesn’t mean you’re out passing judgment on the world.
I’ve written a ton about judgment here. I absolutely do believe that most of us judge too much.
But not agreeing with another’s action? Is not what I consider judging. I consider that using one’s brain to come to a conclusion.
We’re not going to agree on everything. And that’s totally okay. I don’t have to like everything someone does. I don’t like all the things some of my very best friends do! I still think they’re great people– I just don’t agree with certain actions.
I am totally willing to get called out when I put on my judge-y pants. It happens. I do not deny this.
But, man, I’m tired of the accusations of “judging” that fly any time someone dares to disagree with something that was said or done. To me? That’s just misusing the word “judge” and creating an endless cycle. “That’s judging to assume that I was judging!” It spins out of control.
Anytime we try to evaluate someone’s character based on specific actions or behaviors, we absolutely risk being judgmental.
But overusing the word “judgment” does nothing to help it go away. Let’s call out unfair judgment when it truly exists and stop trying to misapply it to situations where someone merely stated their view or perception.
Because… frankly? If you’re trying to tell me that you never see someone do something and think to yourself, “What the… ?” Well, I call BS.