It’s Okay to Complain

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Complain about cleaning your house, and someone will point out how lucky you are to have the space.

 

Complain about washing dishes, and someone will point out that you’re fortunate not to go hungry.

 

Complain about the endless, back-breaking snow, and someone will tell you that there are places the parched land craves that moisture.

 

Complain about the price of gas, and someone will point out that you’re blessed to have a car.

 

Complain about being big and pregnant and uncomfortable, and someone (probably me– sorry) will point out that you’re lucky to still be pregnant and carrying to term.

 

Complain about your husband being out of town, and someone will tell you not to fuss– at least you have him and you know he’s safe.

 

Complain about laundry and, well, you know where this is going…

 

 

But here’s the thing.

 

I think it’s okay to complain.

 

I think it’s natural to sometimes feel dissatisfaction with your current state. Honestly, I think those feelings of occasional discontent just make the sweet moments even sweeter. I don’t truly believe that the woman fussing about doing dishes isn’t grateful for the food on her table. I think they can be separate things. I think you can KNOW you’re blessed and still not feel like doing a pesky task. 

 

Now, I don’t think it’s healthy or good to dwell on it. I don’t think the focus should be on “woe is me” or endless strings of gripes.

 

But I’m here to say… if you need to complain for a moment and get it off your chest? I’m totally willing to listen. I don’t think that makes you an ungrateful soul. I think it’s just part of the ups and downs of human emotions.

 

(Anything you need to complain about today? I’m all ears. :) )

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9 comments to It’s Okay to Complain

  • Susan

    Ok, here it is. I’m so tired of hearing whiners complain. Specifically, my husband. He is constantly taking off sick days. It doesn’t matter if Mom doesn’t feel well. I still have to get up, get dressed for work, make breakfast and leave the house by 7:20 in order to get my son to school by 7:45. Even if I am vomiting, I still get my son to school. I had a C Section and was back at work in a week. It’s been 15 years and I’m still waiting for someone to give me a day off.

    Have a good day!

    • Aw, Susan– I am truly sorry! :( That’s a hard spot to be in and it can, indeed, be draining. I’ve had to muddle through the day’s obligations with a 104 fever or while vomiting, too, and it is NOT fun. It’s a legitimate complaint!

  • I definitely feel like sometimes I desperately need to vent/complain but don’t because of the backlash. My situation is such that my active duty USAF husband is gone A LOT. And I actually mean A LOT (207 days last year and half of this year so far. The number of days he’s been gone in our near 13 year marriage is staggering, and it’s nothing compared to what army families go through). I also homeschool. I am fully aware that we chose this lifestyle and truly believe it’s the best choice for our family (and most of the time I love this lifestyle), but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And sometimes it’s downright, depressingly hard. It would be nice to be able to vent somewhere without the backlash of “be grateful.”

    I AM grateful/thankful, etc. God gets us through and I’m aware of how much worse it would be without Him, but it would also be nice to be able to talk about it without the general public thinking I’m whining.

    I should add that my husband is fabulous! When he’s home, he does whatever he can to lighten my load and show us all that we’re loved and cared for!!

    • Oh, Laura, I can’t really imagine having my hubby gone for that many days. You carry a heavy load, my friend, and without fussing or whining. Needing to communicate very real struggles isn’t whining at all! I hope you know you can always have my ear if you need it. <3 you.

  • Elizabeth

    I feel like the worst whiner, but I really would like to get this off my chest. I just calculated my taxes for this year and the self-employment tax I have to pay is just ticking me off no end. This is my first time paying SE tax and I’m steaming over it. I don’t want to make it a political issue because I’m normally pretty moderate on the political spectrum, but right now inside my head I am just cursing out the federal government and our tax system. I hate that I’m even grumbling about this to myself. God has provided for my family, we have the money we need, and my income tax woes are not woes at all compared to other issues going on even just in my family.

    If I’m honest, it’s not even so much the money that’s making me mad. I think it’s actually mostly an issue of pride, because I feel humiliated that I didn’t calculate my taxes earlier and realize the full impact that self-employment would have on me come April. I feel embarrassed that I might have misled myself and my family about what my tax situation would be this year. As I said, it’s not even a big deal financially. We’re fine and I’m grateful for that. But I feel incompetent, and that’s put me in a foul mood.

    Thank you so much for letting me get that off my chest. I’m going to put a smile on my face, have a cup of tea, and do my best to cheer up now. :D

    • How was your tea? :) Aw, taxes can be super frustrating and self-employment just adds another layer. I’m sorry it was such a maddening experience for you, Elizabeth… I hope you’re all done with it now and can turn your attention to far more fun and enjoyable things!

  • Katie

    I agree! I feel like we should be able to occasionally complain without being labeled as ungrateful. Granted, I don’t want to give people a free pass to be negative all the time but once in awhile we all need to vent.

    • Oh, I can’t handle people who complain incessantly about every little thing. But I definitely think that part of being a friend is letting someone unburden every now and again… seems fair, right? :)

  • Christina

    I understand the need to complain, too. I work 60 hours or more per week, my husband is on the road for work from Sunday morning until late Friday night, and I have a toddler. It is exhausting and back breaking. However, I found out the hard way that complaining can lead to a vicious cycle. Yes, doing it once in awhile it cathartic, but I had to leave a mom’s group I was in because after awhile, all we did was complain. My advice: complain, but only a little.

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