My husband and I really do like one another. That’s good news.
We also really want to nurture our relationship and enjoy one another. That’s also good news.
But, just for a second, let me paint you a very clear picture of how things had been going down around here:
- We would plan an “at-home date night.”
- He would pick up take out.
- I would pour wine and light a candle.
- We’d toast and snuggle and talk about whatever.
- We’d perhaps watch a show.
- One of us (usually me, but not always) would fall asleep.
- The end.
Oh dear. That was not at all what we had in mind when we originally planned the evening! And, while passing out early isn’t the end of the world, it’s also not the most fabulous habit to get into. One partner is left kind of bored and frustrated. The other winds up feeling guilty the next day when, really, he or she was just legitimately TIRED.
Being tired isn’t going to change. We, like you, are busy people! Our hours together can be precious and rare and, by the time we get to them, we’re too often halfway to exhausted.
For all of these reasons, I introduced the “reverse date night” to our lives.
A reverse date night isn’t rocket science. It simply implies that you start out where you might typically hope to end up. So, for instance, rather than pouring wine and lighting a candle in the living room while my husband reads to our son, I light a candle in OUR room and wait for him there.
You don’t need gory details to see where this is going. The point is: we take care of nurturing our marriage and reconnecting right from the get-go. Anything that follows? Icing on the cake.
If we fall asleep right then, at 8pm? So be it. If we choose to have a glass of wine? Great. If we watch a movie while we eat dinner on the couch? Sounds fun! But– no matter what– we both sleep easily and there is no guilt or frustration involved.
The reverse date night: JessieLeigh-tested, hubby-approved.
I highly recommend it.