And then I wanted to gouge my eyes out… (Review)

I told my friends, “So… I was clearly paying NO attention at all when I foolishly agreed to review this book. Now, I am torn between wanting to gouge my eyes out and being endlessly thankful for my own relationship.”

 

Let me be really clear, though: It is totally and completely my fault that I didn’t realize what I was getting into. BlogHer’s book club is always very, very direct in their emails about whether there might be questionable material in a book. But, well, I tend to get these emails right before I have to run out to meet my kids’ bus. And a limited number of people get to review each book. And I LIKE reviewing books. So, um… I may not have read it carefully. (oops)

 

I saw the title, sure. I figured this might be a bit of a divisive topic. But, well, in MY sheltered little world, when we talk about “submission”, it’s usually more a debate about biblical submission within a marriage. And, while I happen to be in one of those more “equal” partnerships, I never mind delving into the subject matter.

 

But good gracious.

 

I was NOT prepared for what was going to happen in this book. At ALL. And, while I’m not one who freaks out over intimate scenes in novels or movies, I was left horrified and, perhaps even more, terribly sad.

 

Diary of a Submissive is a memoir chronicling the experiences of Sophie Morgan (<– not her real name– and I can’t say I blame her for that.) It is frank and explicit and graphic. That’s not my style at all, but I could probably have coped with it.

 

But it just made me weep. Here’s this woman– by all accounts a successful, independent professional– who willingly subjects herself to such horrifically debasing actions that I wanted to jump into the pages and rescue her. Except, apparently, she says she enjoys this.

 

I don’t get it. I can’t even try to, to be honest. I told my husband that the book was horrible and frightening and disturbing. At first, he teased me and said, “too kinky?” But then he, too, saw it in my eyes– I wouldn’t have been THAT bothered by a little kink. I was devastated by this entire depiction.

 

So. Clearly, I can’t say I recommend that you read this book. I would caution someone against it, really, unless you know for sure you like this sort of thing. Though I have not read any of the 50 Shades of Grey books (and never had any interest in them), the reviews I see seem to imply that this book is significantly darker and more disturbing, if more realistic.

 

Did it change me? Yeah, probably. But that’s because it scared me. And it has made me cling to the beauty that is my own loving, giving, supportive, cherishing marriage.

 

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions expressed are– clearly–  my own.
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11 comments to And then I wanted to gouge my eyes out… (Review)

  • Celine

    You must have been extremely distracted the day that e-mail invite arrived.

    I am sorry that you had to experience such a book. I am not sure why the increased interest in books of this type. They so often are not representative of true submissive relationships, instead they show a severe lack of respect for women and encourage physical and emotional abuse.

    • I somehow skipped over this, at the beginning of the email: “We are recruiting for an upcoming BlogHer Book Club book, Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan… This book contains suggestive themes.” So… yeah. I can’t claim they didn’t warn me! ;) It was a HARD read for me, and I’m still troubled by the idea that this is really, truly happening out there.

      • Celine

        Sounds like it was much more then suggestive themes.

        Unfortunately the things that people do and find acceptable are beyond comprehension. Wouldn’t be surprised if the “themes” in the book are actually mild compared to what really goes on in some peoples lives.

        • Oh, gracious, I honestly hope not, but fear you may be right, Celine. What would worry me most is the thought of a teenaged girl getting her hands on a book like this (all too easy now that we have e-reader versions of everything!) and thinking that this type of relationship is somehow healthy and acceptable. Not to pick on Miss Morgan but, whether she was enjoying it or not, the things she was enduring WERE abusive. I would never want my girls to think that being beaten with a crop to the point that they had lasting, stinging welts was ever, ever, EVER okay.

          • Celine

            That makes me really sad to hear. I don’t want my girls thinking that either. There is a huge difference between a loving and caring D/s or BDSM relationship and abuse. It seems a lot of the more recent books are just full of abuse.

            Time to find a nice light fun read and try to ease your mind. Try a little Nora Roberts.

          • This comment made me grin, Celine, because– I kid you not– I am right in the middle of “The Last Boyfriend” by Nora Roberts right now. Definitely much more my speed and taste. ;)

          • Celine

            By far my favorite Author then I want a nice light read.

  • Sable@SquatLikeALady

    I AM SO GLAD THERE ARE TWO OF US IN THIS PREDICAMENT. haha!! I also obviously did not know what kind of book I was signing up for O_O whoooops! Will pay more attention next time.

    • Ha! This was no “Matched”, to be sure, which was such a quick, enjoyable read. I really, really struggled through this one and have continued to have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I need to let it go, but my heart honestly hurt from that memoir… I think I envisioned there being more obvious love and caring interwoven into the D/s relationship and, well, there clearly was NOT. :(

  • [...] So, I about had a panic attack when I saw that the latest book I read for BlogHer’s book club, Reflected in You, also had that “mature audience” warning slapped on it. Oh, dear. We all know how well that worked out for me last time, with the gouging of eyeballs and all.  [...]

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