10 Things to Keep on Hand for a Hot Marriage

Oh la la, is it hot in here or is it just me?


Hot marriages, as I’ve said before, are entirely possible despite society’s insistence to the contrary. What they are NOT is a given. Keeping an ongoing union fun and spicy takes some effort, but it shouldn’t be frustrating or exhausting to make it exciting.


One of my best suggestions for others who desire to have the kind of joyful, spontaneous passion in their lives that helps to make a marriage hot is to be prepared.


What’s that I just said? Be prepared in order to be spontaneous? Why yes indeed. That’s exactly what I said.


Keeping these ten things on hand will make it that much easier to spice up the “same ol’, same ol’” that can be married life:


  1. A decadent snack. Hide away some good quality chocolate. Or some fancy olives. When you both get the nibbles, reach for the strawberries and gouda instead of the chips and dip. Rich, deep, juicy, intense– these are the words that might describe a sexy snack.
  2. A favorite movie. For us, it’s a silly comedy that cracks us both up. For you, it might be a horror flick that makes you cling to one another or a suspense film that captivates you. Whatever it is, keep a movie on hand that you both really, really enjoy– one that doesn’t demand that one of you compromise.
  3. A game you both love. Playing games together is so sexy. Seriously. Board games, card games, video games– whatever your preferred genre, just go for it. I rarely think of playing a game in the evening but, when we do? It almost always ends well.
  4. Nail polish or lipstick you rarely wear. Some men (like mine) are really observant and notice a new toenail polish color (“Hey, I don’t remember that teal stuff… “). Others wouldn’t notice if you added blue streaks to your hair. But having shiny nails can make you feel like a grown-up– and one who has more on her agenda that doing dishes and scrubbing floors. Who cares if they’re chipped tomorrow? Worth it, I say.
  5. Something to wear that makes you feel fabulous. Make sure you have at least one outfit in your arsenal that makes you feel excellent. This means having undergarments that fit properly and don’t bunch or ride up. It means having a top in a color that flatters your coloring. It means finding a skirt, jeans, etc. that doesn’t pinch and makes you feel feminine and fantastic. Take the time to find that winning combo and file it away.
  6. Something to wear that makes his jaw drop. Now listen– it doesn’t even much matter how you think you look in this particular item. The simple fact is that our men don’t hold our bodies to the same standards we do. Your priority might be sucking in your gut. His priority is getting to see your curves. Indulge him with this one.
  7. Something you can hide. Consider an accessory or temporary tattoo that you can tuck away someplace. Maybe you’ll add a tiny rose to your hip. Perhaps he’ll find a sparkly belly chain glistening under your dress. There’s something incredibly exciting for a man to know you took the time to accessorize clearly JUST for him.
  8. A festive cocktail or mocktail. Chugging water or grabbing a soda is perfectly fine. But, if you want to set the stage, keep the ingredients on hand to make something special. Consider keeping something fizzy (like sprite or seltzer) and some kind of citrus (like fresh limes or lemons) stocked. Those two things can mix with innumerable things to make a fun and pretty beverage!
  9. Clean sheets. Have a back-up set of sheets. Keep them clean and folded and at-the-ready! Tuck a fabric softener sheet in with them if you so desire. Clean, crisp sheets are amazingly inviting… and fun to sleep in, too. :)
  10. A pretty lighting alternative. Candles are great, but that’s only one option. Dimmers allow you to customize the illumination level to just what you need. Consider threading a strand of twinkly fairy lights (white Christmas lights) over a curtain rod. Very few of us feel our best in full 60W+ glow. Very few men want us in pitch blackness. Be prepared with a flattering, pretty alternative!


And there you go! Keeping those ten tricks in my arsenal enables me to have all I need to turn an evening from fine to fabulous in a flash.


Anything you’d add to the list?


linked to:

Top Ten Tuesday at Many Little Blessings

Facebook Twitter Stumbleupon Email Tumblr

13 comments to 10 Things to Keep on Hand for a Hot Marriage

  • A meal he loves. The way to my husband’s heart is through is stomach:)

    Not something I keep on hand, but something I do…

    I try to keep the house as clean as possible. I always feel more in the mood when I’m in a tidy environment.

    • Oh, a tidy environment is a great suggestion. I’m not so ambitious about keeping the whole house clean– *ahem*– but I do try to keep our bedroom clean and uncluttered. It’s definitely easier for me to relax and get in the groove if I”m not surrounded by heaps of messes!

  • Erin W

    I love your list! We don’t have kids yet, so sometimes I try to get home before him and start cooking dinner in nothing but my apron.

  • Barb

    Once, for his birthday, my husband asked me to buy myself some special lingerie. I went to a department store, not the discount mart, where the saleslady and I had a great time picking just the right things. I was an overweight Mom of 3; we’ve had 4 more children since, so I guess he was happy with his present.

    • I LOVE this, Barb. What a fantastic idea! For my husband’s birthday one year I gave him two gift bags– one with “things to keep you busy when I’m not around” that included a handyman magazine, football video game, and some beef jerky, I believe. The other was labelled “things to keep you busy when I AM around” and contained a pretty silky negligee thingy, some lotion, and what-not. That was a very popular gift. I should do something similar again… ;)

  • A truly refreshing reminder to keep it fresh. I was a little hesitant as to what I might find here. I appreciate your modest candor. I also appreciate your thoughts… I clearly have never thought about some of those things before….now I wonder if my kids’ smiley face tatoos would be a turn-on! LOL!!! Thank you!

    • I try not to make anyone blush too much with these posts, Kristy! :) I’m just super passionate about good, healthy, exciting marriages. If nothing else, I bet a hidden smiley face would be a whole lot of fun! ;)

  • Great list! Thanks for posting it. We can all use more ideas. You’re welcome to come by my blog and see my Top Ten list. :)

  • love! I have been working on this off and on. I also like to have those sweet 1 dollar cards on hand. At random times I fill them out and hide on. Also, a favorite perfume. My husband loved certain smells.

    • Oh, a favorite perfume is a great one! I’ve worn the same scent since COLLEGE when my husband and I met and he always notices it… whether it’s on me or even coming from a candle. Scent is very evocative.

  • Great list! It’s so true, you DO have to be prepared. Sometimes you don’t know until the last minute that the kids will be at a friend’s house and you’ve got the place to yourselves. Take advantage of it!

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>