You and Me Both, Girlfriend

 

Don’t let that joyful little face fool you– this one can be a force to be reckoned with.  She doesn’t just have her mama’s eyes and long legs… she also got my temper.  Hoo boy.

 

At two years old, even though she’s got a good little vocabulary, she still struggles sometimes.  Fiercely independent, “I do it my-welp!” is easily one of her very favorite phrases.  She has her own ideas about how things should happen and, not surprisingly, her way doesn’t always line up with mine.

 

Such was the case at the grocery store yesterday.

 

For whatever reason (because, to be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely sure why), this darling little girl just lost it in the middle of the store right after we checked out.

 

I pulled her aside, knelt down, and spoke in a low voice to her.  Tears poured from her eyes.  I asked her if she was ready to walk nicely with me.  She dug stubborn heels into the vinyl floor.  So… I picked her up and carted her out the door.

 

She wailed.  Kicked furiously.  Face red and damp with tears, she glared at me.

 

I didn’t really care.  I just kept walking at a fast clip, trying to make a speedy exit and disturb as few people as possible.  I had no hope of reasoning with her at that point.  We were in damage-control mode, and I just wanted to leave the building.

 

What I did NOT need was all the “helpful” commentary.

 

  • “Someone’s tired…”  (Actually, “someone” wasn’t.  Not at all.)
  • “Someone must not have gotten a treat…” (“Someone” didn’t even ask for a treat.)
  • “Someone doesn’t like shopping with Mommy!” (“Someone” did just fine shopping; it was the leaving that somehow caused a melt-down.)
  • “Someone sure isn’t happy!” (Well, can’t argue with that.  But thanks for stating the obvious. ;))

 

The thing is… I know all these people were trying to be kind.  They were trying to find a way to rationalize the behavior of the squalling toddler under my arm.  They weren’t nasty or critical. But it made me feel like I needed to respond in some way… and, really?  I just wanted to get my furious little chickie back out into the open air and sunshine!

 

I blew a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and felt my heart rate accelerate.  The door was in sight.

 

And then we ran into her.  She didn’t even look at me.  She didn’t say a word to me.  But she nodded at my two-year-old and said, brightly,

 

“You and me both, girlfriend, you and me both…”

 

And I burst out laughing.

 

I flat adored how this woman totally diffused the situation by simply acknowledging that, well, sometimes we all just want to throw a big ol’ fit.

 

And that’s okay.

 

I’m totally stealing her line.

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17 comments to You and Me Both, Girlfriend

  • I may be stealing that one as well.

  • Sonja

    LOVE it! My 17 month old has done that too! I hate dealing with the comments while it’s obvious I have my hands full trying to calm her down & get out of there! Sometimes I wish I could just join her, lol

  • Kelley

    Love this!!! I have an almost two year daughter with the same spirit! But I mostly love that you feel the same way about the random comments..some how they always make me feel dumb. I know they aren’t meant to but it never helps!! I will keep the lady’s comment in mind next time and there will be a next time, I can count on that!

  • mlearley

    Totally had one of these days today at work where I wish I could’ve gone into my boss’s office and threw a huget temper tantrum. Unfortunately, I want to keep my job…at least for a little while longer.

    • Sigh… it’s a shame we’re not permitted to throw the same sort of temper tantrum as adults, isn’t it? Tell you what– if you ever need to throw one around me, I’ll just my head and say, “You and me both, girlfriend. You and me both.” Deal? ;)

  • That is pretty funny. Sorry you had such a rough day, I remember them well – probably because even though my kids are older we still deal with days like that on occasion. Except they are too big to throw under your arm and walk out the door with.

  • It makes me feel better when others acknowledge that they have a hard time parenting, too! Last week at Red Robin my kids were actually behaving and the lady behind me had a 2-year-old being a little wild. She was obviously very worried about it, and I hope I reassured her by telling her I am so used to wailing I don’t even notice it and he sure wasn’t bothering me. I don’t know. You and me both, girlfriend seems like a much better response. :)

    • I think it showed great kindness that you shared that with her. I always, ALWAYS try to smile extra brightly at the parents of the noisy kids at church. It makes me so sad when people give them dirty looks… I mean, they’re THERE. When it would be so much easier just to stay home. We have to support one another on this challenging walk of parenthood!

  • Lindsay

    One time, when I was dealing with my one (yes, only one!) year old son’s temper tantrum, I called my mom. I had been embarrassed by my son’s outburst because he is normally a very happy, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. I didn’t know what to do to diffuse the situation and ended up in tears myself. My mom’s words of advice still resonate with me. She told me to get down to his level, look him in the eye (or try to, at least), and tell him he is allowed to feel however he feels. She told me to tell him that his feelings matter, and that I understand he is trying to tell me he is unhappy about something. Then, I was to tell him that other people’s feelings matter, and that he was upsetting those around him, so we were going to go somewhere private where we could both cry. Then I was to stand up, and in a louder voice so that others could hear me, say something like what the woman said to your daughter. I lo e my mother because she gave me advice with the heart to help me remain calm. Your story just helped me remember that children only express what adults can’t!

  • Carol B.

    Just wait until you start getting them from teenagers! I thought I was done with them, but no! LOL! Of course then we went and had another baby so we could do it all over again. :P (19, 18, 16 year old girls, & another girl 5 months old)

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