Do pregnant ladies bother you? And other FAQs

I’ve shared some of the more commonly asked questions about C. here with you all.  Things like “Is she normal?” and “What’s this about MRSA?”   And you know what?  Even though some of the questions may be poorly-worded, I am always SO happy when I hear from someone who wants to know more about my micropreemie experience.  While I adore writing about all manner of things, there is certainly a very special place in my heart for other micropreemie families.

 

So, in case you were wondering, here are a few more FAQs that fall into my inbox with some regularity.  To mix it up, I’m sharing a few that pertain more to me than my daughter for this set:

 

Do really pregnant ladies bother you?

 

Those who ask this question, of course, are wondering if I’m jealous of, and thus bothered by, women with big, giant, third trimester bellies.  The short answer?  No.  I’m really not.  Well, I mean, I’m slightly jealous, but only because, even when I carry full-term, I never get a big, giant baby bump.  ;)  But, anyhow, when I see a woman carry to 39, 40, even 41 weeks, I am not bothered– I am THRILLED.  I love nothing more than seeing babies fully cook!  However.  Though I’m really working at it, I’m going to admit to you all that I am very bothered by women in their final month of pregnancy who do nothing but fuss and complain and moan about how they want it all to be done already.  I struggle with that– a lot.  I would have given my eye teeth to carry longer and I would have endured the discomforts happily if it meant better odds for my baby.  So, yeah.  That does bother me.  But I try hard to grin and bear it.

 

Were you scared to get pregnant again?

 

Yes.  But I also really wanted a third baby.  And I also didn’t see it happening when it did.  I was scheduled to have surgery and discovered I was pregnant at the pre-op screening.  I describe the decision to have G. as a leap of faith.  We really had no reason to suspect there would be a problem.  We just also had no reassurance that I wouldn’t go into spontaneous labor way too early again.  I fretted a lot early in that pregnancy, but I also really and truly cherished all the moments of the later months.  I am so grateful for that.

 

My first baby was born at 26 weeks and my husband and I are considering trying for a second.  What advice do you have for me?

 

Well, unfortunately, nothing too earth-shattering.  I recommend you follow God, your heart, and the doctors– in that order, but with all three playing a role.  It is important that you carefully consider the risks and likelihood of potential problems, but I don’t think you should automatically write off having more children after having a micropreemie.  Depending on the cause of your first child’s prematurity, you may benefit from meeting with a perinatologist and this is something that can be done even before you try to conceive.

 

Anything else you’re burning to know?  Just say the word!

 

 

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5 comments to Do pregnant ladies bother you? And other FAQs

  • With Gus I was so achy in those hip-lower belly-ish ligaments. I told my OB a million times I know I should be really appreciating those post-29 weeks, but I am not a happy joy pregnant lady. I wanted it to be over. NOw that we’ve been trying forever for baby#3 and if I get pregnant it will be the last I think I’ll cherish every minute!

  • mlearley

    With both of my girls I went almost 41 weeks, so yes I was one of those “I wish this baby would just come.” Even though I felt that way, I was extremely grateful that my babies had made it full term and the complaining was more to do with aches, pains, and just wanting to meet/hold my baby. My second pregnancy I did have more discomfort but making it that far in my pregnancy was a HUGE relief after losing the previous pregnancy at 12 weeks. I remember hearing people complain about the pains of pregnancy after losing my baby and thinking “you should be glad your baby is still growing” but then I found myself doing the same thing towards the end. I think it’s more of impatience coming through!

  • momof3

    It must be SO HARD waiting for your baby to ‘come to full term’ outside your body, rather than inside! I think that those last weeks of ‘anticipation’ of starting life with a new baby are not easy, whether that new baby is still in utero, making mom uncomfortable, or in the NICU making mom worry…it’s still an “I can’t wait until I can hold you and care for you and everything is OK!” sort of feeling. The NICU/transition nurseries and the last weeks of pregnancy are just different sorts of the same anxiety inducing, uncomfortable, ‘I’m not in charge’/I just want to hold my baby and get on with ‘normal life’ type feelings….IMHO. Some of us are just impatient when it comes to pain or babies! :>D
    FWIW I was a MUCH happier mommy once my babies were on the outside…one was 6.5 days overdue (after having his foot in my rib for at least 6 weeks), one was 3 days overdue and one was 6 weeks premature with a complex congenital heart defect and Down syndrome.

    • I completely agree that both situations are ones of waiting and anxiety. So true! Having been through both kinds, however, I must say that, for me, there is a very real (and significant) difference between being tired and uncomfortable and eager to hold my baby and being tired and empty and wondering if my baby will even survive the next few hours. I simply cannot compare the two. I would never seek to minimize the aches and pains and impatience that women legitimately feel late in a pregnancy. Those are very real feelings. But is that a comparable anxiety to what NICU moms go through? Not for me. I can see you’ve had many different birth experiences, too, so I recognize this likely varies from mommy to mommy. :) With my full-term babies, I was eager. With my 24-weeker, I was living in a state of perpetual terror. But, as I said, I’m working hard to “get over” this struggle of mine…

  • My last baby was a 32 weeker (4 lbs) so not micro- but preemie enough! I got pre-eclampsia and probably had touches of it for 2 months before they got her out.

    ask your doc about MAJOR calcium supplements- I read somewhere that it helps

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