10 Ways to Get Yourself Blocked & Reported on Twitter

I’ve been on Twitter for right about three years now.  Three years!  I’ve shared close to 15K tweets in that time and I like to think I’ve learned a couple things along the way.  For starters, here are 10 simple things you can do that will result in me clicking “block and report spam” on you:

 

  1. Feature an avatar that focuses on a suggestive body part.  I’m not talking hands, feet, or lovely profile shots here.  Breasts, thighs, booty?  No place front and center in your avatar.
  2. Tweet a URL with no other information whatsoever about it.  (Not applicable if I’m expecting a link from you.)
  3. Tweet something cozy and conversational when I don’t know you from Adam, e.g. “Hiya!  Whatcha up to tonight?  Are you in your jammies?”
  4. Include “69″ in your Twitter handle.  My apologies if it’s your birth year, but it gives the wrong impression.
  5. Include a blatant curse word in your Twitter handle.  Look, I’m gonna unfollow you if you curse a lot anyway.  My kids are around me.  But I’ll go so far as to block you if you start following me with a big ol’ “SH*T” in your name.
  6. Tweet me about how to lose weight!
  7. Tweet me about how you earned a billion dollars todayclick here to find out how!
  8. Start blabbering at me incessantly about SEO– bonus blocking points go to the man who addressed me on Twitter as “Web Mistress”
  9. Ask me if it’s okay if you copy the picture of my hand from a post and put it on a site called “Sexy Hands”.  (You can’t make this stuff up and, really, it’s more creepy than flattering.)
  10. Be mean.  Malicious.  Cruel.  Vindictive.  Twitter should be a fun place for little, delightful, sometimes humorous, tidbits, in my opinion.  Discussion and debate are fine, of couse, but always bear in mind the limitations imposed by a 140 character limit!
So there you go.  I most definitely do not have the “most followers” under the sun, but I do have over a thousand and they’ve been carefully weeded through.  If you’re one of them?  Thanks for never being mean.  And for keeping your undies to yourself.

Are you on Twitter?  What makes you click “block & report as spam”?

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