10 Articles of Clothing I Can’t Rock Like a Toddler

Listen, I’m not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear.  How you choose to dress yourself and face the world is (and totally should be) your choice!  But I will say that there are certain articles of clothing that I feel (strongly) are better reserved for the little set.  If you happen to look awesome (or feel awesome) in one of them?  More power to you!  But, for me, here are ten trends that are much more easily pulled off by my two-year old than me…

  1. Jeggings– Dark skinny jeans?  I can pull those off.  The key is that the fabric is a bit thicker and they don’t cling to every single inch and detail of my frame.  Jeggings?  Look adorable on the rounded legs of my toddler and the stick-thin legs of my five-year old.  They will not be showing up on me, however, even on my skinny days.
  2. Cropped Leggings– Skin-tight?  Cutting me off mid-calf?  Tell me how this could POSSIBLY be a good idea?  It’s not.  It’s just not.  But little girls can totally pull this off.
  3. Okay, really, ANY Leggings– Really.  I wore leggings the first time around, back when the year started with “19″ rather than “20″.  I suppose I could get away with them under a skirt or something.  But I’m not going there.
  4. Babydoll Tops– Pregnant ladies?  Look darling in these.  Little girls?  Look precious.  Full-grown, non-pregnant me?  Not gonna do it.
  5. Ruffle-Booty PJ Shorts– Cutest look EVER on a little girl toddling off to bed, in my opinion.  I don’t even want to contemplate how this look would be on me… I just shuddered.
  6. Horizontally Striped Tights– I’ve been honest with you all before:  Even at my skinniest, my thighs are never skinny.  I can think of no reason to put horizontal stripes on them.  My daughters, on the other hand?  They’re just all kinds of sweet in them.
  7. Glittery Sneakers w/ Lights– When my toddler dances and prances around in these, you can hear a chorus of “awww”‘s ring out.  I?  Would not have the same appeal.
  8. Rompers– I don’t care what’s being paraded out on that runway, rompers have no business on adult frames.  Leaving out the obvious bathroom conundrum, they just don’t flatter the full-grown female form, in my view.
  9. Super Short Skirts (or Skorts)– Flippy little skorts on little girls?  Adorable.  As long as there’s something under there to cover up the underpants (because, let’s face it, toddlers still have a ways to go in terms of “being ladylike” at all times), I love seeing little legs hanging out!  Mine?  Do not need quite that much exposure, thankyouverymuch.
  10. Any missing articles of clothingAhem.  There will always be times when little ones show up missing something.  Pants around ankles, shirts pulled way above navels, or items that seem to disappear altogether.  While not my preferred look even on the toddler set, I’d much rather see a pants-less two-year old boy than a pants-less grown man!  Enough said.
How about you?  What articles of clothing can you no longer rock like your kids?


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16 comments to 10 Articles of Clothing I Can’t Rock Like a Toddler

  • So true :)! I think my toddler’s wardrobe is impeccable (and definitely more stylish than my own ;) ), but I would never want my-size versions of them. I always love your creative posts :D!

  • Kelley

    Perfect!! I gotta say, there should be a handbook of life out there and this post would be Chapter One. Even if a grown person could rock a romper, who would take that person seriously??? I will also add toddler clothes are really are so darn cute!!!

  • I absolutely agree! There is a reason there are separate stores for adults and kids; kids should look like kids; adults should look like adults.

  • I agree with all of these (especially leggings!), and I have to add my own: tutus. On my daughter: absolutely darling. On me (since I’m not a ballerina): positively weird and eyebrow raising.

    Stopping by from Oh Amanda.

    • Your comment made me laugh out loud, Tiffany! Aside from a professional ballerina, I simply cannot even envision a grown woman in a tutu. I totally agree! My little girls look darling prancing around in them but, me? No way. Too funny.

  • I agree with you 90% but I’m telling you, a jegging that fits well can be your new best friend. I got mine from NY and Co last year and they are awesome. They tuck right into a pair of boots. They aren’t quite as tight as a legging and have back pockets so they look exactly like a skinny jean but when you wear a longer sweater or dress with them they fit flatter to the body and they stay put – no bagging around the knees or backside by 2:00 in the afternoon. Holiday jumpers could also be added to the list:)

    • They’re really not as tight as a legging? ‘Cause I’m picturing these denim-looking painted on pants and, well, the image just ain’t pretty. ;) Sounds like you found a great pair, though, and I can certainly appreciate the idea of not having to deal with the mid-day sag.

  • earleyml

    I agree with all of yours except the baby doll shirts. There are some shirts that my daughter has that I would just love in my size. I’m a little on the shorter/smaller size so I think that baby doll shirts are actually pretty flattering on me. Those are my favorite types of shirts to wear right now while pregnant and will be sad in a few weeks when I won’t be wearing them anymore.

    • Aw, I’m always a little sad to give up my cute maternity tops, too! I can certainly see how certain body types/shapes/sizes would be flattered by the style. I’m on the taller side, with a small waist. So… I don’t really seek out gathers over my mid-section. ;)

  • I agree, except for the shoes that light up. I would totally wear those.

  • [...] week, I shared a list of ten “looks” that are adorable on my daughters, but would be foolish for me.  This week?  Here are ten fashion looks I fully believe should be reserved for the, how shall I [...]

  • Meagan

    This whole post made me laugh (in agreement!!), but in response to Tiffany…I had no idea that tutus for adult women were even ‘a thing,’ until a friend of mine that lives across the country posted a picture recently of herself wearing one…to church! To say that I raise my eyebrow would be quite the understatement! :)

    • Oh, Meagan, this CRACKS me up! The thought of wearing a tutu to my church makes me giggle. Of course, we go to 7:30am Mass and it’s almost all really old people, so I can only imagine the raised eyebrows THAT would inspire! How funny…

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