I could spend all day making sure my house is a welcoming haven. I could make sure all the details are in place for a great at-home date. I could have his favorite meal simmering away upon his arrival home. All of it counts for nothing if my heart isn’t prepared for him.
Far and away, the most important way I honor my husband is displayed in how I prepare and present, not my house, but myself. Here are a few of my thoughts on how I can do a better job making sure my mind and heart are where they need to be as I set off trying to be the best wife I can be…
Getting Dolled Up
My husband dons a shirt and tie every day to show professionalism and inspire respect as he goes about his job. While there is absolutely no need for me to be wearing fancy dresses or suits as I set about this SAHM gig, what am I saying when I don’t spend even a moment on my dress and presentation? What message does it give the people I love most if the best I can muster is pajama pants and an old t-shirt? While those choices aren’t the end of the world, and they may happen occasionally (particularly during illness or just after birth or such occasions), I remain convinced that there are better options. Black boot-cut knit pants or some great-fitting jeans are comfy and practical. A clean knit top in a pretty color is just as simple as an old tee. My guy may or may not even notice that change… but I FEEL it. And that affects how I act and how I treat him.
Taking Care of Myself
It is critical that I take care of myself if I want to be able to meet the needs of others. When I’m out-of-shape, I feel lousy and all I want to do is retreat within myself. Feeling healthy and strong gives me energy and confidence… two things that are true blessings to the man I married. I need to eat healthy- and adequate- food. Despite how difficult it can be, I need to schedule those doctors’ appointments to ensure my health is in good stead. If I’m going to be prepared to take great care of my family, I need to have taken, at the very least, moderately good care of myself. As wives and mothers, this is an area where many of us consistently fail.
Being a Soft Place to Fall
My husband is in charge at his place of work. I expect him to also be in charge in our home. This is very demanding and, while he’s a strong, capable man, he may occasionally need to crash or tumble down from that high place. If and when he does? I need to be his soft place to fall. Rather than feel as though he’s being met with disappointment, disgust, and lack of respect, he needs to feel the comfort and encouragement that only I, in my critical role of “wife”, can provide. No matter what happens in his day- if he wrecks his car, loses his job, and forgets to pick up milk- it is up to me to be the unwavering support he can always count on.
A Sure Thing… or, at least, close
Finally, when it comes to preparing my heart and mind for my husband, it’s important that I consider what makes him feel most loved and honored. And, really, at the end of the day, he wants a sure thing. He wants to be able to count on me. To lean on me. To trust me. And to share intimacies, both verbal and (of course) physical, with me. While he doesn’t mind putting in some leg-work and laying some groundwork, for the most part, he shouldn’t have to worry about being shunned or denied.
I spend an awfully large portion of my day as “Mommy”; it can be too easy to forget to honor the man who gave me that role… to honor the man they call Daddy.
Don’t forget to hop around and glean from the wisdom of my partners in this series:
What steps can you take to make sure your heart and mind are prepared for your man?