A Reluctant Relationship


“Hey.” “Hi.” “Nice eyes.” “Thanks.”

Those five words marked my entire first conversation with my now-husband. We met across a college cafeteria table because a “friend of mine” was dating a “friend of his”. I had never seen this guy with the super-dark hair before… so dark that it was the first true “blue-black” hair I had ever seen. I really had no idea that he lived right upstairs from me in the dorm. Turns out he DID know I lived below him. Turns out he also liked my eyes.

As we all filtered out of the cafeteria, I sort of wondered when this guy was going to go on his merry way and head back to where-ever it was that he lived. When he told me he lived in the same building as me, I was shocked. And so we walked on…

Over the next couple weeks, we spent more time together, presumably because our friends were dating. We became partners in card games. We sat side-by-side on late-night IHOP runs. I casually watched as he carefully broke off the relationship he was “sort of” already in.


(Do you like how my infamous eyes are half-closed??? He’s a cutie though!)

We had a ton of fun together. I thought he was clever and handsome and romantic. He found all sorts of crazy reasons to stop by and see me. From the start he told me, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.” I flippantly replied (because I thought I was one wild, independent woman at such a young age), “I can’t commit to favorite color much less a man!” Well… perfect.

Except we were inseparable. Everyone else called us a couple– friends, professors, the staff who worked in the cafeteria… even his roommate referred to me as “his girlfriend”. The dating friends who had brought us together had long since split up. But our relationship kept right on going. In time, even WE accepted it. :)

I am three months older than my husband but a whole year ahead in school. And so, when I graduated that May, I was headed back to Connecticut and he to Indiana. He still had one more year of school in Florida to finish up.

So we broke up. For no reason other than distance. We couldn’t envision sustaining our relationship with all those miles between us. Face it- we were used to living one staircase apart. Thousands of miles sounded ridiculous!


(Becoming his Mrs… what a joyous occasion!)

In the end? We couldn’t stay apart. I flew to Indiana to spend a week with him. We visited and called and emailed through his senior year. Our “no-commitment” relationship eventually turned into a 7 1/2 year marriage (so far!) with two children and one more on the way.

Good thing there’s someone with bigger plans than us out there…


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To read more love stories of “how we met”, head on over to Heavenly Homemakers!

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