Not Superwoman

There are a few things I heard over and over again during the months following my micropreemie’s birth. Truthfully, I still hear them on an almost monthly basis. Here they are:

1) I don’t know how you handled having your baby in the hospital for 4 months…

2) I don’t know how you lived in ONE room all that time…

3) I don’t know how you threaded a tube through your tiny baby’s nose down into her stomach every time you went to feed her…

4) I don’t know how you pumped for SO long…

5) I don’t know how you carted a toddler, an infant, and an oxygen tank to the grocery store…

All of these are ALWAYS followed by… “I couldn’t.”


I’m here to tell you that you could. And you would. Because there’s not really a choice. No one asks a preemie parent if this is what he/she wants to do. Clearly, these are not all ideal scenarios. But you know what? You do it. You learn how to do things you never imagined you would have to. To tell you the truth, I wish I didn’t know how to use a stethoscope to check tube placement at one in the morning. I wish my brain did not still insist of converting things to the metric system (“One teaspoon of Tylenol? Oh, you mean like 5 mL?”). I wish I had no idea what “She’s on an eighth of a liter until she passes a sleep study” even meant. But I do. And you would too.

I’m just Mom. I’m a preemie mom. I’ll even go so far as to say I’m a good preemie mom.

But I’m not Super Mom.
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2 comments to Not Superwoman

  • Sometimes I think it’s as if people don’t really stop to think about what they’re saying – that they’d rather just give up than deal with the situation they’re in…

    While totally not anywhere even near the same realm as having a preemie, I encounter these types of “How do you…” questions in regards to military life and deployments. I do it because it’s the right thing to do (and I happen to love my family!) Yes, deployments are hard. Yes, I’d rather have my husband home joining us in our daily lives and memory making. But, there are times when that’s just not an option and we carry on the best we can and learn what needs to be learned to make it though. And we pray for strength, endurance and wisdom to run the race set before us.

    • I think your comparison is a very valid one– there are so many situations where we say “I don’t know how you do it– I couldn’t!” And I honestly believe most people actually mean it is a sort of compliment… but it’s not as simple as “I couldn’t”. Because, well, sometimes you just HAVE to. :)

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